[	mood	|	silly	]
[	music	|	"Slippery Slide"/Yvonne Elliman	]

Well, I went to violet_candy 's Cake'n'balloons day party this past Friday, and had a blast. I finally left around 5:30 in the morning, got into my van... and that's the last thing I remember.

I woke up a few hours later, in a dumpster behind a liquor store in Binghamton. My hands were bound with my shoelaces, my pants were down around my ankles, my underwear had been cut off and stuffed into my mouth, and - worst of all - there was a dollar bill pinned to my shirt.

I got out of the dumpster, tripped because I forgot to pull my pants up, and asked the wino with the one arm what had happened to me. He said some frat boys did this, and then he asked me for a dollar, which I ripped off my shirt and gave to him. I went to look for my van just as the bum started peeing on the side of the dumpster.

Sure enough, I found the van three blocks away, on TOP of a building. How they pulled that one off, I'll never know.

BTW, happy early April Fool's day, everyone!

Except for the part about having a good time, which I did. Oh, hope you're well now,

_goatboy_

[	mood	|	pensive	]
[	music	|	"Reach Around"/The Howard Stern Show	]

It's been a little while, I know. I ditched the paper route, because everything was so disorgan-azized and my boss was kind of a douche. I was making myself crazy by having to stay up so late and then go to my job. I simply cannot do without sleep, because I tend to make a bigger ass of myself when I'm sleep-deprived than I ever have when drunk. Now I just need to find a better job. I'm literally going crazy because of where I'm working now; I really don't think I can stand it much longer. My mom and I both went to the Career Center downtown to see if we can upgrade ourselves from cash-poor status, and will be going back next week for orientation.

On the upside, I've been on a real creative kick lately. I've been working on my music more, and I've also been buying a shitload of arts-and-crafts supplies and have been making some jewelry and such. I'd like to sell some of this stuff eventually, either on consignment or at booths at the Flea Market or festivals or whatever.

Last night at Neil's was a blast. Congrats to Adam for winning the contest. Just save me about half of that keg, old chum, hah hah. Thanks to everyone for making my mom's birthday shindig a great one.

If I haven't lost you already, the party is this Saturday, starting around 8 pm. Please bring a movie you want to watch; it can be VHS or DVD. Hope to see y'all there! Call for directions, 682-5148.

[	mood	|	exhausted	]
[	music	|	"Sixteen Tons" Tennessee Ernie Ford	]

Because of many goings-on in my life as of late, the Movie Party has been postponed until Friday, December 2nd. I've been working uber-hard with many hours lately, because I picked up a second job as a helper on a delivery route for The Commercial Appeal in a tragicomic attempt to pull myself out of debt. Currently I feel like the walking dead, and the house is a mess, and I have no energy to clean, so I'm not up for much partying right now. Hopefully I will have everything squared away, so I can be the good party host I am destined to be, heh heh.

Ugh. I have to go to work in 20 minutes. And since I've been watching a lot of Kevin Smith movies lately, let me close by saying "Snooch to the Nooch"!

The Movie Party that I am throwing will be at my house on Saturday, November 19, starting around seven with the actual movie viewing beginning around eight. Please bring your favorite video or DVD (and a friend or two), and I of course will have some on hand. You can bring porn if you want, but make sure my mom's not around, tee hee!!! As I said before, I will write down all the titles and put them in a hat, and then have someone draw from that hat. The order in which the movies are drawn are the order in which we will watch them, unless we get a popular vote for something else! There will be beer and munchies, which of course includes popcorn. To RSVP or to get directions, call me, 634-5770.

Hope to see y'all there!

[

mood

|

contemplative

]

Hey, what's kickin', home chickens?

I just looked at my LJ and thought, "Wow, I really should update. Granted, my journal is full of pointless, boring bullshit, but now it needs NEW pointless, boring bullshit!"

So, here goes...

I'm thinking of going as a suction-cup Garfield for Halloween. You know, those things you sometimes see sticking on the window of a car. There's this party I'm supposed to go to that has free Jell-O shots and beer and a prize for best costume, and my friend Cookie tells me it'll be the shit and he can get me in for free. Cool, I guess. I've been getting so bored with going out lately. Sometimes I'd rather stay home, have friends over and watch movies or do whatever. In fact, I think I might do just that pretty soon, so stay tuned.

My mom went to court recently, and I came along. You see, she sued her ex-roommate because that fat, loud, ugly, bossy cow and her skanky, room-temperature-IQed daughter ran up several bills and then skipped out, leaving my mother to pay for them, to the tune of $900.00. The douchebag judge wouldn't even let my mother finish her statement before awarding her only a fraction of what she asked for. My mom would appeal the decision, but that would require $255.00, which we don't have. So much for justice. Now my mom has to go back to court and shell out another thirty-five dollars just to get that breedsow's wages garnished just so she can get her claim money. Christ. I thought that what our tax dollars were supposed to be used for.

While I'm at it, does anyone know of any company that needs a file clerk/runner? My mom needs a job so she won't have to take in any more roommates. She is a retired Senior Deputy Court Records Clerk from the City of Memphis, and is experienced with swearing out warrants, swearing people in for testimony, collections, and running a multi-line switchboard. Anyone who can help her find a job gets a meal at a nice restaurant on me.

Well, that's it for now. The library is closing. Cheers!

Man, I'm fucking exhausted and broke.

Do you have any idea how hard and expensive it is to get a fake Louisiana ID around these parts?

Hey, I don't pass up no free shit!

j/k